| Selected dreams of movie stars, 1978-1998, |
[19 Jan 2005|10:26pm] |
Sophia Loren and I watched her latest movie at an Upper East Side theater.
Sophia Loren came over to my house for supper. I asked her what she was working on. She wouldn't say, although I begged.
Julie Andrews worked as a lounge singer.
Julie Andrews was exhausted.
I telephoned Peggy Wood (who played the Mother Abbess in The Sound of Music) to ask for advice on how to sing "Some Enchanted Evening". Peggy, jealous, offered no encouragement.
I packed Elizabeth Taylor's bag, including a nightgown with a cappuccino stain on it.
Liz was incognito: her roomate didn't know Liz was Liz.
I met Liz at Jackie Onassis's country house. I nearly told Liz that I'd just seen The Only game Town, but I didn't want to be gauche.
A midget rode on Liz Taylor's handlebars, while Sophia Loren sat atop a geometric sculpture that resembled her figure but was vastly inferior, and Lyle Lovett, in the background, posed as a supermodel.
Liza Minnelli tap-danced on a Flatiron District sidewalk.
Barbara Streisand played an athlete in a movie; later, I auditioned for a part in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, it's script covered in sauerkraut.
I led Bette Davis back from the dead. We sat on the beach. She wore asylum clothing: white tennies.
Charlie Chaplin sat near me in a fancy uptown Manhattan restaurant.
Jean-Paul Blemondo spent the night at my house. He was distraught about Brigitte Bardot. I couldn't help him.
Alec Baldwin had plastic surgery so that the narcotics police wouldn't recognize him.
A hot date told him she preferred the old face; she took a blowtorch to the fake layer and melted it.
I played the part of Orestes in a photo-montage version of Oscar wilde's Salome.
Wayne Koestenbaum
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[13 Jan 2005|10:34pm] |
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AAARRRGHGHGHGHRGGRHGHRGHHHHHH! Ok I'm sorry. Why do I blow up at people I love the most when I'm stressed out. It's like I need to cuss and scream for a few minutes and when I get the slightest opportunity to I do and now I'm sorry. But I'm still mad I just didn't mean to have a huge fit like that. AAAAAARGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm sorry.
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[13 Jan 2005|08:53pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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my room mates watching the lifetime channel |
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I am such a bad phone person. I apologize to anyone of my friends who call me and I don't answer and never call back or sound like a bitch on the phone. I don't know why I do this or why I come off as not such a nice person on the phone, I will try to fix it, but I am foreseeing that it will not be easily fixable so I could very well give up.
The last couple of days have been soo busy! I love my schedule even though it takes up lots and lots of hours of each and every day for only 16 credits, but I guess thats how art departments work, whatev. I still like it though, being busy rocks, it makes me feel accomplished and worthy of being here.And I'm taking a dance class! Yah for dance! I missed it so much. Its a modern class too which I haven't properly taken in a long long time. So much fun. You know what my goal is this semester? To get straight A's for the first time EVER in my life. Wait maybe not never, there were a couple of times in elementary school, but other than that NEVER. So everybody who bothers to read this give me love! ( I mean it actually won't be too hard considering I have three acting class, a dance class, math for you and your dog, and english 101) but hey attendance is a BIG HUGE issue in this getting straight A's thing and I'm gonna do it!
Isn't it strange when you sit somewhere one day and observe your surroundings and have a certain feeling you associate with that area and the next time you come back there, something changes and you see it in a whole new way? I don't know, weird.
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[09 Jan 2005|12:46pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
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music |
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Frou Frou- I saw Garden State! |
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Mmmmmm I slept so much yestaurday. Had some pretty vivid dreams. I keep having this recurring dream where I somehow easily get a brand new car. And each time I have this dream the car just gets cooler and cooler. The first one was a new Volkswagen Bug and then the next dream was a sky blue Camaro like the one in that movie The Mexican? Anyways I woke up with a bad feeling, first realizing that I didn't have the car, then feeling a little guilty because I slept so much. Everytime I sleep that much I feel like I'm missing out on something, something really incredible that life offered me, but I was asleep. I guess I'm just getting a headstart on the sleep I'm going to try to catch up on later in the semester.
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[05 Jan 2005|07:53am] |
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maybe i'm not ready
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[03 Jan 2005|09:29pm] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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music |
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you really are my ecstacy |
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so i'm ready to go back to greensboro. ready to be in a show again. ready to have some more freedom back. ready to just start doing something. and i need to exercise. i'll admit i had a wonderful wonderful break although not winter wonderful there was no damn snow at all, how about its 70 degrees outside now but whatever. anyways most of it was spent playing in charlotte with my friends that i have missed soo much. i love seeing people i haven't seen in so long and discovering it doesn't matter one tiny bit that we haven't seen each other in 3 or 4 months because we can still laugh our asses off and talk like it didn't even happen. there are still a few select people that unfortunately i haven't gotten to see, but i still have two more days so maybe it'll happen. but right now i'm just missing greensboro. and you. i'm so glad that i chose the right place to be. at first i thought it could have been a mistake, but its turned out so well. even though i feel like it would be fun to move to a different place just to see. i think i need to make a new lay-out because i'm trying to quit smoking and everytime i look at my lj jimi hendrix is just looking so hot smoking a little cig. i wish i asked for a digital camera for christmas so i could show everybody my cool artsy side with cool artsy photos or put them on my lay-out and be like whoa im cool and artsy but alas i did not. (im j/k, i'm not trying to diss people who put photos on their lj i actually enjoy them) oh well love all bye
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[10 Dec 2004|01:18am] |
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mood |
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procrastinating like a bitch |
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music |
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cat scratch feverrrrrrr |
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I am so damn happy here in the g-spot, but i am sooo ready to move my happy ass back home for awhile. i miss everyone sooo much, its incredible. Happy, happy northwest reunion. But next semester is going to rock my socks off- BFA program here i come (haha just trying to slip that achievement in) and haleys coming too! yeyah. why won't my room mate rearrange my room with me? why why? i obviously have nothing else to do but study and why would i do that when i can sit and think of cool, easy-to-do, way practical designs for our room and listen to cat scratch fever and watch the golden girls and write in this journal that i haven't touched in foreverrrrrrrrrr. This is the best thunderstorm I've seen in a long while.
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[07 Sep 2004|07:42pm] |
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 crushed |
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music |
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keller williams |
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This whole situation is still here. I thought it was gone, but its not. I tried to put it in the past, I really did. I even shared a wonderful, magical, beautiful experience with you and I got the chance to forget the whole thing for a few perfect hours. Its not working anymore though. I'm still frustrated, hurt, angry, confused, but still in love. And now everyone I talk to including myself makes me feel like a chump. Yes a chump. Like I forgave you way too easily, I deserve more than that, a lot more than that. You need to try harder otherwise I'm not going to feel appreciated and I need that more than ever. You just say things that hurt my feelings and then don't even notice. That on top of what you already did is a lot.
I know I said we can forget about this and put it all behind us and we're stronger than this problem, but the feelings are still there and they're going to surface at the weirdest, most inopportune times for a long time. Its just not going to be the same.
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| how did this happen? |
[05 Sep 2004|12:08pm] |
why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why WHY did you do this to me?
Now i feel so fucking alone.
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[24 Jul 2004|02:48pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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givin up - the darkness |
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i like this cat
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[28 Jun 2004|12:08am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Happy People!!!- R. Kelly |
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Ya know what I absolutely love? I looove going four wheeling at 3:30 in the morning after sneaking out of my house while I 'm "grounded" and getting soaked to the bone in mud from falling off the four wheeler. I love it! Sometimes getting dirty feels sooo good! Haha.....yeah this being grounded one week before my birthday is absolutely ridiculous. But ANYWAY
I'm debating whether or not I should see Farenheit 9/11. Everyone I've talked to says see it! you'll cry your eyes out and laugh out loud! But I don't know, I'm not by any means conservative, in fact most of my opinions on political issues are pretty liberal, but something about this movie just seems wrong to me. Its completely bashing the shit out of our president while hes still in office and making millions. Hes BY FAR not one of the best presidents we've had, but he should still get some respect because he is the president and at least he did something after 9/11. This whole war is so confusing to me- I don't even know what to think about it sometimes, there are issues that I agree with on both sides. I actually try to avoid talking about the subject of this war America is in because people are so passionate about their views and either view you as stupid for being ignorant about some of the things going on or stupid because you disagree with them. I don't know maybe I should see the movie and then update from a more educated point of view.
HEY MY BIRTHDAY IS IN EXACTLY ONE WEEK
J U L Y 4RTH!! ********** Those are fireworks. For me.
I miss you Jesse! I hope your having a great time in Greece or wherever you are in Europe at the moment! ( Little shout-out there)
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[19 Jun 2004|05:35pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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errrbody in da club get tipsy! |
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HEYYYYYYYYYY! I 'm back from the beach!!!!! Everybody should experience senior week at myrtle beach with all the hot shirtless guys, rednecks, ho's, irish people, pretty people, old wrinkled people that wear the worst bathing suits. It was the perfect thing to do after graduation though. And I had the best time with the people who I love so much and didn't get to spend much time with this year- Heather and Sonny. Sonny got drunk for the first time in his life and rambled and sang for about two hours which could have been recorded and sold for stand up comedy it was so funny. Heather and I got so sunburnt we thought we had sun poisoning or skin cancer, so we used SPF 70 that had like the actualy ozone in it and wore hats on the beach (and still got hot guys attention!). We fought a lot. We went clubbin a total of 5 times out of the week, crazzzzyyyy. OH and the BOOTY SHAKIN CONTEST, Heather and I entered and you would've thought we won what with Heater's superior ass shakin and the splits we did WHILE shakin our ass but noooo some girls had to get in front of us but whatever it was for the experience! haha. We met irish people who call cigarettes fags ( there are so many jokes you can make with that). Colton and his model friend Trey came down to visit for a night which was a surprise but awesome again! After we went to the club that night we just ran striaght into the ocean, it felt sooooo good, but the experience was kind of dampered by this annoying guy who felt like he had to pick me up everytime there was a wave like I couldn't jump over it myself. Ugh some guys are so stupid. I think this entry is getting too long and maybe boring for all you other people, but i just had such a good time!
NEW
cell phone# 704-608-1432
screen name HEYsdjfkha
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[30 May 2004|06:57pm] |
Damn so much has happened since I typed my last entry, but its too much to talk about and it might turn towards the boring side. So anyway its the end of the year and and everything is happening at once including the last chorus concert, dance recital, recovery, making senior tiles, exams or lack of exams thats a great part of being a senior, graduation announcements- the list could go on. It really hasn't hit me that I'm in a week and a half exactly I'm through with high school forever- of course if I pay my fine of 55 dollars for never turning in a 10th grade english literature book I swear I gave that back!
Oh my point of this was I don't have a screen name anymore since apparently its the same one I had on AOL a long time ago and by a long time ago I mean we haven't used AOL in like 2 years. So they JUST NOW cancelled our account which means I can't use Honeybut000 on aim......which sucks but is ok b/c I'm ready for a new sn. But what!?! Any ideas?
I think I'm addicted to dorky guys.
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[19 Apr 2004|01:14pm] |
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 mellow |
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Ok so spring break is over. Didn't really do that much though since Colton decided all spur of the moment to go to the beach EARLY so I unfortunately didn't have a ride! I know, I know horrible right? Oh well I got to work and make money which is definitely a good thing. I can wait to go to the beach after graduation......I think. I mean I think I can wait. Not I think I'm going because I am most definitely going. So anyway what else did I do this spring break? Hung out with lots of kids that were much younger than me and then some kids that were much older than me.
Ok that Cuban Russian guy? I thought (keyword) that he was soo cute. I mean he had the whole accent thing goin on and the tan-ya know just hot. Big mistake. I went out with him a couple times and then we went to some party at his apartment and it was so funny ALL his damn friends and roomates are like international people and speak about 5 languages each. Theres an African guy, a Chinese guy, another Russian/Ukranian, etc. And English was not there favorite language so I had no clue as to what they were saying a 1/3 of the time. Anyways got really drunk and I think he has a violence problem- seriously. Not with me hell no but with his guy friends he kept wanting to beat them up and he was all like yeah back in Russia thats just what we do, we get drunk and beat eachother up. Yeah sounds like too much fun. Then I made the HUGEST mistake of the whole week or maybe whole month and a half. I hooked up with him (no sex though boys and girls). Yep even after all that stuff that pretty much turned me off, but I'm blaming it all on the alcohol. Remember kids please drink responsibly- that means no suave pressuring Cuban/Russians near you. And the end to this story, turns out hes better friends with my manager than I thought and ended up talking to him and telling my MANAGER we hooked up. Very embarrassing VERY VERY embarrassing. But hes cool so its ok I guess. Oh yeah and I had to drive home drunk! I know that is extremely bad but I am a dman good driver- didnt speed or swerve or anything I can handle myself even though Im not doing it again.
Then I went to Greensboro for Open House with my cousin and really saw what a gorgeous campus it is ( the last few times I've been there it really didn't look that pretty) and got to see Alex. I swear every guy I meet just doesn't compare.
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[11 Apr 2004|03:47pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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music |
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crazy techno |
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I love Cuban Russians!
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| Hooray! |
[29 Mar 2004|05:02pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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3rd quarter is F I N A L LY over and guess what that means? Only 69 days or 9 weeks until I graduate. And this is the best quarter of the year- the one that includes spring break and prom and LEAF, all of which requires money, but I'm workin on that. I'm actually working on that at Dominoes! Haha yeah but its really not bad- the people are great, they are ridiculously funny. There is this one humongous fat (redundant?) guy- I mean seriously huge- like me five times, who makes cartoon faces and randomly barks in my face just to see me jump. Yeah its a little weird- but hes cool, at the very least entertaining! And its right across from UNCC so there are some pretty cute guys who show up!
Aw this movie is precious- Real Women Have Curves.
I have curves I guess that makes me a REAL women.
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[15 Mar 2004|10:20pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
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DMB- Dancing Nancies |
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Hellllllloooo Dolly's over~ which means i can finally go to sleep without taking a shower, blow drying my damn hair, straightening it and then recurling it overnight! Let me tell you that was hell. I think I might burn them. But back to the show- it was ammazzing. I'm actually not talking about the performances even though they were pretty damn good as well, I'm really talking about the cast and the orchestra and the costumers and the techies. This was the first show that I felt each and every person respected and genuinely liked eachother. There was just this great sense of unity and it was spectacular, it made all the rehearsals 200 times more fun and LESS STRESSFUL. And its all thanks to MO. Anyone who has ever worked with her knows she has this way of making everyone feel special. So thanks MO!
Hey I tripped on shrooms. Anybody who's never done it should. Everythings so pretty.
And making out is the best thing in the world.
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[29 Feb 2004|10:48pm] |
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content |
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Went to Greensboro this weekend with Reuben to see *Jesus Christ Superstar!* wooooo yeah it was colorful. Alex did a kickass job and most of the ensemble, hes so damn talented~ I absolutely LOVED seeing him in his little tiny gold shorts with high heels dancing around like a little drag queen and breakdancing, but the leads were not all that great. They were kinda tired I guess and Jesus was ripped, but the acting was a bit fake overall.I know i just put down their acting department, but Im pretty sure I've made up my mind to go there. Its just something about the atmosphere I like for some reason. I could see myself living there for a little while. Definitely not forever and I still want to eventually try to transfer to one of my dream colleges, but UNCG is perfect for right now. I don't need to spend a ton of money getting the same classes I can get at UNCG. And Alex and Nate are getting a house- hell yeah! So anyways I'm excited! So no one put down UNCG! Haahha I'm a hypocrite, but I have my reasons.
I'm gonna go watch the rest of the Oscars- Lord of the Rings is dominating! And Johnny Depp is hot. Wow yah for Jack Black and Will Ferrell.
Damn we have school tomorrow.
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[26 Feb 2004|11:48am] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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WOW! you guys it snowed! AND! it just keeps on going........
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[18 Feb 2004|07:40pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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My whole body is so extremely tense and nervous and hot right now its scaring me. And for so many different reasons.
I feel like such a letdown. To everyone- to my parents, to my friends, to my teachers, and to myself. I haven't done anything drastically horrible, its just this feeling that won't go away. I can't ever be someone that has done something incredible for myself or anyone else. I don't get spectacular grades and I know I could if I just had that special something in me. The same special something that I wish was encompassed in my dancing or singing or acting. I love all three so much- thats all I want to do, but it doesn't come across that way.
I never feel like I'm really truly there for my friends or my family when they need someone. I guess its just difficult for me to open up and I want to so badly. I want to be special to people more so than right now. I want to make some sort of impact on someone's life. I mean if I died right this very second- what would people say when they remembered me? I wish I could do something about this feeling, but I just can't shake it. Its too deep. Too many things have happened today to make me feel this way. I'm sorry this is so depressing.
I hope you know who you are, but I miss you and love you more than I can express in words. I wish I was brave enough to tell you that in person instead of writing it to you in a livejournal, hoping you'll understand me.
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